on life and love and everything else

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The best I’ll ever know

Marcel Marquart died today. That’s the story he’d want me to write. No frills, no fame, no fuss. But he’s not the one telling it. So you’ll have to settle for my version. The best man I have ever known died today. A man who, even when I was a young boy, I was able to realize was different than anyone I have ever met. He was hardworking. He was a man’s man. If there was work to be done,…

Wounded

There is a wound in our world. Perhaps more appropriately, a gash. A hole from which blood pours and pain radiates. It reveals to reality all that is inside of us, and it isn't always pretty. Over the past few years in America, the wound has been growing larger. They do that when you irritate them. Pick at them, brush them against something, catch the scab and rip it off - it doesn't matter how - when you don’t leave…

New music friday

Tomorrow is Friday. That’s a good thing for many reasons, but one of my favorite is that Friday is ‘new music day.’ It used to be Tuesday, but now it’s Friday. There’s probably an algorithm or some sort of smart marketing strategy that decided that, but no matter, it’s new music on Friday. I’ve been thinking about my love for new music, probably too much to be honest, but the thing I can’t quite put my finger on is the…

They say it’s my birthday

I am older than God. Accepted historical and Christian tradition says that Jesus was crucified at 33 years of age and ascended to heaven 42 days later. Jesus was God. Today, I turn 34 years old. Ergo, I am older than God. It makes logical sense, trust me. They say it’s my birthday today. I wouldn't really know, because although I was present for the first one, I was zero years old. I did not posses quite the steel trap…

daddy’s little girl

I still don't really believe it happened. One minute I was sitting at home watching nighttime television with my wife - the next I was holding my daughter. My daughter. The words don’t even make sense as I type them. Her name is Esther. People keep telling me she’s beautiful, and she is. People keep saying she’s perfect, and she might be. People keep saying she has so much more hair than I do, and they’re right. I see all…

False Start

There’s a penalty in football called a false start. The basic premise is that it is illegal for someone on the team with the ball to start the play before all the others. So after they all line up and get ready, someone moves before the ball is snapped and the whole play has to be stopped and the offensive team is penalized 5 yards. It’s one of the only times in life I can think of that someone gets…

Something new

New things are hard for me. I wish the reason they are was better. I wish it was because I had some sort of intense phobia that had a sweet name and was so debilitating that they could make a movie about. Arachnophobia after all was a colossal box-office success. Maybe it would be better if instead of a phobia, the reason I was averse to new things was because I didn’t have time for them. If I was literally…

what trinkle taught me

My brother once referred to pop as “trinkle” for almost an entire year of his life just because he thought it would be funny. That alone should tell you all you need to know about him, but I’ll continue. He once drank an entire container of boysenberry syrup at a Perkins at midnight for five dollars, which he then spent on one of those claw games in the entryway to gain possession of a stuffed duck, which he then almost…

Welcome to the world – Ezekiel Aaron Steffen

33 days ago the history of me changed forever. On June 9th, 2012 at 2:29pm, I became Ezekiel Aaron Steffen’s dad. It was the most surreal experience of my life. In the course of about 8 hours my life was altered forever. I have a son. I am his father. My mom is a grandma. Life as I knew it will never be the same. I am responsible for another human life, and while that’s a mortifying thought, it’s also…

when I grow up

  When I grow up I want to be an adult. Don’t misunderstand me, its not that I didn’t enjoy my childhood – or that I have it out for young people. And I haven’t even seen Benjamin Buttons, mainly because the premise terrifies me, so don’t think it has anything to do with Brad Pitt either. No, mainly the reason I say this is because as I age I am becoming more convinced of two things. The first is…