on life and love and everything else

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Daddy’s grown up guy

I honestly couldn’t tell you when it was; the first time I saw you as a young man instead of my little boy, but I think I could hazard a guess.  Perhaps it was the morning of the first day of school. 6th grade, a locker full of stuff, ready to switch classes for the first time and study things that require you to comprehend and think on your own. As you carried in the backpack you borrowed from me,…

Baseball Bubby – Baseball buddy

I can’t say for sure it was the first time, but I remember vividly sitting on the couch in the basement one night, tossing you a simple plastic ball. The kind that they fill those ball pits up with. Not too heavy, not too hard, but still a ball none the less. I had tried this before, with less than desired results, but this time was different, this time, YOU CAUGHT IT! Without hesitation, you looked right at me, giggled…

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You make my heart smile

When I was 18 I met a girl who made me feel like I was Superman. It was unlike anything I’d ever experienced or felt before. Everything I did was funny. Every thing I did, impressive. Every day we lived together, brand new and full of adventure. She was the most beautiful person I’d ever seen, and the most beautiful person I’d ever known. I was then, and remain so to this day, sure that I would never tire of…

Like looking in a magic mirror

If I am being honest, Ezekiel, I sometimes wonder if you ever look in the mirror before you leave the house? I’m not attempting to be cruel, simply being honest, which as your father it is my duty to do. Let me just recall for you some of the outfits I have seen you wear, along with some accessories.  First, I know you’ve left the house in shorts that contain shapes, shaded in primary colors that look as though they’re…

Lordy, Lordy – look who’s 40!

If you read the Bible (and I do), 40 is a holy number. A Godly number. 40 years, 40 days - God seems to really be a fan of the number 40. I’m not sure why, but you can bet when I get to Heaven, it won’t be among the first questions that I ask Him. I don’t plan on asking any, actually. All that to say, today, I am reminding myself that 40, is a holy number.  Today is…

I never knew…

I never knew I could love someone, the way I love you. I’ve loved a lot of people in my life, more than I can count. I’ve loved them for how they’ve treated me, how they’ve taken care of me, how they’ve helped me, and who they’ve been in my life. Your grandma was probably the first. I don’t remember all the ways she shaped me and all the things she’s done - but I know she loves me and…

My little man

I remember the first time I held you, thinking to myself that someday you would be a man. A great big grown up with hair on your face and muscles in your arms. I remember thinking; “some day - this kid will hug me and I’ll be surprised that he can squeeze me harder than I can squeeze back.” And while I’m happy to report that day still hasn’t arrived, it feels a lot closer now then it did back…

My baby…

Baby. 5 years ago today, you became my baby. If I’m being honest every time I call you that, and I hear you say the words “I’m not a baby, daddy” it breaks my heart just a little bit. Because the truth is you’re anything but A baby now, aren’t you? You’re a big girl, a little woman, a little PERSON with a BIG personality. One so big I’m not sure the world will ever be able to contain you.…

14 and counting…

I was 18 then. The entire world around me was changing. Graduation loomed only a few months away and the prospect of college loomed in the not too distant future. I didn’t know who I was or who I wanted to be. I just knew I didn’t want to do it alone.  Enter the most unique and incredible person I have ever known. From the moment I laid eyes on her I knew she was different. Some people call it…

I just want to show you love.

I just want to show you love.  Today you turn 8 years old. Old enough to be a real big boy, but not quite old enough to be a man. There is so much I want to teach you, so much I want to help you understand, so many things I wish I could explain, and all the things from which to keep you safe. They are growing by the day, and sometimes the task seems overwhelming and impossible -…